Don't own anyone else's lunacy...
sadness
unhappiness
anger
ignorance
intolerance
inadequacies
bitterness
hatred
venom
attitude
opinions...
If they are idiots, leave them behind and move on.
Their short comings have absolutely NOTHING to do with you or who you are on this planet.
Don't let their problems become your persona or shape your character or create your day.

You can't help what they do, how they act, what they think or how they live their life. But you can completely help yourself by not letting them invade your world at all. Sometimes it's best to just flip the switch off to toxic people and chalk it all up as a valuable lesson in life. It has no bearing on you as a person. What they do should not really affect you at all. Each is responsible for self and when your head is on straight, life can still be a really good thing in the midst of everyone else's bobble-headed attempts to have a so-called life.

Don't let others have that much power over you.
If you turn your back and walk away and yet allow their actions to bring you down, they're still in control and will be, until you completely cut them loose. Some people are just not nice, and never will be. Their puny attempts to BE nice are so outweighed by the ugliness that when it comes right down to it, they were just never nice in the first place, so move on. And a hard fact remains that some people are just not worth the effort. Certainly not worth wasting an entire life over. So go out and have yourself a life while you still can.

Just a random thought for the day folks.
lmpc

If you woke up today - are breathing in and out, can see, touch, inhale the moment, speak, react, smile, cry, hear, walk, taste, laugh, lift, squat, bend, move, soak in sunshine, feel raindrops against your face, marvel at creation and it's creator, feel anything at all...you most certainly, have reasons to be grateful!  ~lin

Night Wanderer

by, linda marie pharaoh carlson
September 5, 2012

She sails the seas of moonbeams
and pilots the mighty fleet
who follow close behind her
as each new star they greet.

Her world is filled with nothing
if not possibilities...
and in her dreams she conquers all,
she rules everything she sees.

Captured in the moments
of fleeting restful hours
Her dreamworld is her solace
where life and love are flowers.

But then there comes the dawning
to a bright and sunny day...
slowly she will awaken from
the dream world, and step away.

Til’ once again her moon appears
when she’ll begin to dream anew,
She’ll set her sails against night winds
and bid her cares adieu.

wings...

Ok...since I am SO BAD at blogging...no kidding...I just forget the thing exists...!!! I decided to
just start putting up pictures I like and that I think I'd like to share with everyone. I believe I might be
able to fill the thing up with those!! And at least some people would benefit from them and the wisdoms that go with them. AND...it will keep some of my favorites all in the same place, right?

Well, no one can say I didn't try (several times, as a matter of fact). Some people I know are blogging
fools! Can write at the drop of the hat about any tiny speck of information and make it 'pop' and something to enjoy.  I am a writer who can't seem to muster a blog! Now that's just sad!

Oh well, I'll put up my sayings and pictures for ya'll to pin or just whatever ppl do w/them and call it good. I might jot a few lines in between once in awhile, but it will primarily serve as housing for the
things I like to see, and hopefully...you'll like them too.

Have a great rest of the week everyone!

I have never really looked at it this way... but, it is a very good reminder that we serve a purpose in someone else's life. It's not always about us.
I would love to think that people I know just want to spend time with me and enjoy my sparkling personality...but, there are times when I feel like I am the only person they know when they need something I can give them. Be it a listening ear, a word of encouragement, a loan... lol!!

Trying to change my viewpoint about how I see myself in relationships, is probably the best thing I can do. Knowing that I am valuable to another at any point and time in their life, helps validate my purpose here.

I'm not so worried anymore about who calls when or for what. I'm just glad they call and I love every one of them. Toward the end of my friend Shirley's life, we didn't communicate so much. She was often not able to. But on her more lucid days, I knew that she needed to hear my voice. To be reassured and lifted up. I often felt that I failed her. And knowing that she thought the world of me, was always a mystery beyond my comprehension.

We have a purpose. It is not to "carry the world"... but it is to "care... in the world that we live in."  Whenever we have a chance to do it. I hope I have been the candle light for others along the way, to light the darkened hours of those who, for whatever reason, chose me over someone else, to call.

Whose world have you illumined lately? Do you feel like you may need a light out of a darkened hallway? I know you have people around you who have benefitted from your light...give them a call.
Perhaps it's time for them to shine.

Regardless, feel good about yourself and what you do. You make a difference!

Sorting today. And in doing so, coming upon more pictures of Shirley. Still grappling with the fact that she is gone. How can one just be gone? They were there and then they weren't.

I have faced this dilema all of my life. With my mom, my dog, relatives and friends, and I have to say that it never gets any easier. Never!

It is at times like this that I wonder what life is for? Really.
And I am a 'Christian'... no less. What grand lessons are we supposed to be learning whilst here on the green sphere that we tread? Whatever they may be, I don't think we learn them.

We continue to live like the world revolves around us individually. Like we are the most important things on the planet. Are we? And if we aren't, what is?

I dunno folks...after seeing one after another felled by death's merciless scythe in my lifetime, I still have nothing figured out. If death can't change the souls left behind, nothing can. If losing those that our feelings are so tied up with and wrapped up in to the point of breaking hearts and shattered lives, and unfulfilled dreams...is supposed to move us to be better, it isn't working.

Have lots of thoughts floating around the gray matter this week. Aftermath of loss.
And I suspect it won't be the last time.

My Dear Friend, Shirley

Ok... I admit it... I'm just plain lazy when it comes to blogging. I also fess up that I'm just not good at it like some. My efforts are puny, at best.
That said, I guess being in a blue funk this last week has prompted me to come and say something. I lost a very dear online friend I've had for 16 years who was laid to rest last wednesday. Her name was Shirley Braud. She was from Louisiana, married to a Cajun named Joe.

I'd met her online when neither of us knew anything about the www or much of anything about computers. We were both fearful of the big bad world of cyber space. We got over it. We grew in our sharing and friendship over the many years. I had never gotten the opportunity to meet her face to face, but I didn't need to.  I KNEW her deep down, and she did me.
We laughed together, cried together, consoled and cajoled each other, and spoke almost every day for years. I am missing her.

Over the last few years as her health declined, we talked less...but the thing is, every time we did, Shirl acted as though it was the high point of her day! Like I was the most important person in the world to her. She had that way about her. She was a bright spark in my life that kindled nothing but warm loving thoughts for sixteen years solid.

Some "friends" only call when they need something from me. Some consolation, encouragement, some computer help (lol), or just whatever, and then it's months and months until they ever call again. Until the next "urgent need" or call for help comes in. Some never think of you until they realize they've missed your birthday & quickly call to give you their belated wishes. I dunno...in my entire life, I think I can honestly say that I've only had one really true friend who only wanted to just be there for me. Who really wanted to know what I was all about. Who didn't judge me or use me or any other thing. And that one person is the one person I never met up close and personal.

She was a blessing in my life. I only hope I was a small blessing in some small way to hers. I always felt that I failed her so many times. But she never had, me.
This post is dedicated to Shirl. My forever friend who I miss knowing, is still here gracing the lives of so many. I miss her, knowing that my dearest friend, I will only get to see, when I cross over in death's hour for me. I look forward to a big hug from her when I do. I look forward to just being near the dearest person I could ever have met all those years ago, when cyber world was such an intimidating place to be.

God Speed my dear friend. And Thank you, God...for the friendship we've shared.
Someone reading this may just need to know that oftentimes a real true friend for life is but a key stroke away.   May the friends you meet along the way be as genuine and loving as my Shirl. And may you always have that someone special to share life with.

Sincerely, linda

Dedicated to Shirley Braud

and...The Sister God Gave Me

http://ecards.dayspring.com/files/ecards/ec401888-pn01.swf

 

God Bless your Easter Celebration!

 

It's hard to pray...

For people. Not the ones I know and love...but others. Those who do such awful terrible things in life.
Case in point: in a facebook group called: "Justice for Max" ... about sweet dog who for 10 years was left on a leash outside to virtually starve (meaning he probably only got fed when the "inconvenience of feeding him" was not so terribly overwhelming to the people who Max was unfortunately saddled with), and suffer until confiscated by animal control.  Max only lived three days while in custody of the fine people who made his last three days as comfortable for him as could be possible under the circumstances.

Max looked like a big black German Shepard, I say "big" but he was a shadow of him self and how he should have been due to mal-treatment and the aforementioned starvation.

Those dear people have worked tirelessly in their province in NF to get laws passed that would hold such atrocities against animals in account.

Later, there was a picture of a small brown and black puppy who looked like he fell asleep amongst the cast off soda bottles at someone's apartment. Upon closer inspection, the real story was revealed. The person who had the puppy had hit him in the head with a hammer and just let him lay there to die.

My heart is broken for these sweet innocent beings. God's creation.

I am praying right now, that SOMEONE will listen and pass the laws necessary to hold the people who do such hideous things to animals accountable and that they can be fully prosecuted for their heinous acts!

Do these ppl in authority think that this type of behavior in their world is acceptable? I am watching this as it unfolds in Newfoundland. I am watching Newfoundland! And I hope that the world will not only watch with me, but do whatever they can to further the cause against animal cruelty there and everywhere!

Please do what you can. Go to Facebook and join Max's group. Justice for Max. And, pray.
thank you

Writing Frustration

Writer's Block

It doesn't look right
It doesn't feel right
It doesn't flow right...
It keeps me uptight.
It bothers my day
and keeps me up at night.
What it needs is
a complete rewrite.
I chase that beguiling muse
taken flight.
Will no one help me
with my tortured plight?
Or just explain to me at all,
why I must write?

lmpc© 

Praying for Susan

Currently, I am spending time praying for the well being of my friend, Susan. She's had some scary health concerns of late and today was her birthday. She's my age.

I love her to pieces!

I don't have a lot of people I consider real friends in life, but Susan is one! When I arrived at OHS waaaay back when...after losing my mom then being set out on my own barely 15 years of age, Susan was one of THE only girls in that entire high school to give me the time of day. She was a free spirit and really didn't give a hoot what anyone said or thought.

She and I "hung out" all the time. Skipped year book meetings to ride around and get into mischief and just spend time having what we thought was fun back then. She was more like my sister than just a friend. I called her mom "mom"... and later in life, she was "gramma" to our two kids. She's still going into her 90's!! And Susan is just as wonderful as she's ever been with a lot of "mom" thrown in!

Being considered part of Susan's family was one of my greatest memories and joys. She might not remember half the things that went on back then, but I remember every one of them! You see, when I came to that little community, I was a lost soul. Seriously. And no one even took time to dig beneath the surface to get to know me at all...except for Susan. And she seemed to like me. 

Life up to that point had been messy and I was just in limbo. My feelings were all on hold while I tried to make sense of life and go to school and be a "normal" kid (as normal as one can be under the circumstances). And part of my "normal" was having a good friend like Susan. We went to school dances and double dated and even sent for 'paper dresses' ... to wear at the annual Fun Days Celebration! We dodged dates with boys we didn't like and pursued dates w/those we did! And we just had fun, always.

She's someone who thankfully didn't believe the rumors about "the new girl" and set about finding some of the real me inside the shell of a girl that I was then. I am so grateful to her for her loving friendship then and now. She's a special special woman who is needed by her family and today and every day hereafter... there's a block of time set aside to just pray for her restored health and safety! 

I may have only had one good friend growing up. It may well be that Susan will go down in the annuls of history as being the best friend a person could ever have.  To have rescued the sinking spirit of a lonely and messed up little girl of 15, and brought her through one of the toughest times of her life is quite a feat. She did that. And I will always love her for it!

Feel Better Suz!

On Being an Independent Woman

I may not necessarily seem like an independent woman these days...but I still am. And I have been since I turned fifteen years of age.

I lost my mother after a long battle she’d experienced with cancer, just a month - almost to the day, after I turned 15. I remember little about my teen years or any of the prior years of mom’s illness really.  Just bits of memories here and there. My father pretty much abandoned me then too, for the life he wanted to live...which excluded me. So, I was thrown into independence early on, one might say.

Back then, a young girl without guidance and direction from anyone, made for some pretty shaky traveling along life’s pathways. But I learned as I journeyed the way.

I quit school after my sophomore year because no one was there to pay tuition and books, or get me situated for a new school year. I hadn’t had a counselor, a teacher, or even a family friend or relative that had paid any attention to what I might be going through as a young girl who’d just lost her mom (and dad). No one seemed to care. 

My oldest sister did eventually take me to live with her and her family of four kids. I wanted desperately to go back to school and fulfill a silent promise I’d made to mom (and to myself) that I would be the one girl in the family that graduated. I did go back to school and I did graduate when I was supposed to, but went back after graduation, the following year, for the entire first semester, just to make up for the one I’d lost after initially dropping out.
I was elated to think that I had actually accomplished that in life!

I also promised myself (and my mom in heaven) that I would be married for a life time, no matter what. I guess after 44 years of married life (almost) and raising two kids, I am well on my way to fulfilling that promise as well.

I have written my life long and had told myself that I wanted to see a book published at some point. Raising kids and being busy with all their activities, volunteer work and church kept me so busy, I hardly had time to think about it really. But I was and always have had to be strong and independent in my life, and determined. And it was with that self determination that I saw my life long dream come to fruition in January of 2010. I had made up my mind that my kids needed a legacy. A tangible “something” that they could actually put their hands on after I’m gone. Therefore, I began compiling and editing years worth of material to make what would end up being my first book called; Wanderings Of A Wayward Heart...Ponderings Of A Well Found Soul. A book of selected poetry and short stories and quotes that reflected sixty years of life as I knew it.

I have discovered that even when you seem to be alone, or you have no encouragement or help along life’s byways, being your own encourager, and becoming a strong and independent thinking woman will propel you over the obstacles that you may find in the way.

Making up your mind to develope a strong will and employing a strong resolve to not allow those obstacles to discourage or dissuade you, will lead you to being able to accomplish goals you have set for yourself. To realize dreams that you’ve had for a life time. And, reassure you that you are a person of value and worth.

Many may think a woman shouldn’t be independent.

And my own independence was virtually forced upon me in life, and one that I was neither prepared for, nor wanted. But I can look back over the years now and see that being the indepedent person that I am has made so many things possible for me. Has made me appreciate the small blessings more, made me strong enough to endure the chronic illness I’ve dealt with for 34 years, as well as many hardships that have come, and ultimately, it has given me wings.

Don’t let anyone ever clip your wings and tell you that you shouldn’t fly! Your personal independence will help you soar higher than you ever thought possible. It did me, and I know it will for you.

Put to rest...

 We attended a life-long friends funeral the other day. I read a couple of poems. It's hard to try to sum up the total embodiment of a 96 year old soul in a mere few words. Marge Lester was somewhat of a home town legend. She was always "sweet" and kind to everyone, always had a ready smile and a helping hand.

She was a helping hand to her husband, Don and family. Worked beside him on their farm for years, and then in town when Don purchased the local Mobile Gas Station. I had known them from the time I was just able to walk clear on through the almost sixty-three years of my life.

Mama played piano in the band with Marge and their "gang." Only, Marge was able to make that wonderful music for 54 years, mama only lasted about 15 before leaving this earth to join heaven's musical troop. But those days are permanently embedded in my heart. My best childhood memories are wrapped up in the times that Marge and their crew of musicians and friends would gather together. It was just about an every week occasion. There'd be potlucks and barbeques, corn on the cob and homemade pies. The kids would ride the pigs at Fairchild's farm and chase chickens. And then there were the days that the group would play at the Ogden City Hall dances. I would often climb atop the chair trolley piled high with coats and fall fast asleep while the band played on, tired from all the running and chasing each other and shenanigans with the other kids there.  I would often be found standing on my dads shoes while he held my hands tight and danced me around the room to the tunes. To my knowledge, there was never a charge to attend the dances, never a fight, and parents never had to worry about their kids who were there. It was "that special time" that today's world will probably never have the pleasure of knowing. Unlocked doors, smiles that would greet you on the street and people actually talking together as they physically gathered together regularly in each others homes.

When mama and Marge and the gang weren't playing music together, they'd play cards, or go watch whatever events were going on at the park or just wherever.

Putting Marge to rest was difficult. It brought all those "good time" memories flooding back to me. I have those flash backs once in awhile and the result is always the same...tears. And then the whole "I know things would have been different, if only"... thoughts. If only mom would have been here to play those 54 years along with the band. Gotten to meet my husband and her two grandchildren. Shoot! She probably would even have had them both inducted into the band long ago!

Marvelous Marge. Aunt Modge, to me. She and Unca Don served as pivotal role models in my life. Of good, kind, warm and loving people. Of what "good people" are all about in life. I miss them. And I will miss just knowing that she's around. But I know good and well that she's joined mama, Fred, Chet and so many others gone on, as part of heavens band now. I know too, that on some days...especially when I'm feeling a little lonely or down, if I listen really hard...I will hear a few of those heavenly strains just when I need them most.

This is my "Thank you" to Marge for all that she was (and is yet) in my memory.  Cherished memories of another place and time, another world. One that helped sustain me through a long spell w/o those I loved the most closest to me. I drew strength from them. And everyone who ever knew Marge these many years past, could in deed draw strength by her exemplary life.

Good bye dear, Marge. Tell my mom I'll be there when the final sun sets for me. And I'll know just where to go when I get there when I hear the music playing.

Post Script:
Life changed dramatically for me at about age 12 when mama was diagnosed with cancer. I saw very little of her around the house, or dad. They were always having to go to Iowa City or some such other medical facility and or hospital. Our dear old sweet neighbors, Clyde and Daisy Hall looked after me some. She fixed great lunches for me every day when mom was gone. Not sure, as my memories of those days is so fuzzy, really where I spent the nights or even how I got to school most days. I think I went on my own for the most part. When mama died I had just barely turned 15 the month (almost to the exact day) before. Just when I needed her the most. Dad didn't seem to want me around anymore and I was left to fend for myself until my oldest sister-eighteen years my senior, (who I barely knew) took me into her home.

Marge represented the end of a great era in my life. She represented all that was good that I possessed from a vague and all too brief childhood. Her passing brought it all back to me and has probably affected me more than I can even realize. I do know one thing, even though we don't always see those who are special to us daily, or maybe not very often at all in our busy day to day routines, just knowing that they're gone can do a number on us. Unique and special people being gone from us, never to be replaced, can poke a right big hole in our hearts from time to time. And filling that empty place with just a bit of the essence they've left us as their legacy can help.