Lin's Blatherings n' Bits: My Dear Friend, Shirley

Monday, June 4, 2012

My Dear Friend, Shirley

Ok... I admit it... I'm just plain lazy when it comes to blogging. I also fess up that I'm just not good at it like some. My efforts are puny, at best.
That said, I guess being in a blue funk this last week has prompted me to come and say something. I lost a very dear online friend I've had for 16 years who was laid to rest last wednesday. Her name was Shirley Braud. She was from Louisiana, married to a Cajun named Joe.

I'd met her online when neither of us knew anything about the www or much of anything about computers. We were both fearful of the big bad world of cyber space. We got over it. We grew in our sharing and friendship over the many years. I had never gotten the opportunity to meet her face to face, but I didn't need to. I KNEW her deep down, and she did me.
We laughed together, cried together, consoled and cajoled each other, and spoke almost every day for years. I am missing her.

Over the last few years as her health declined, we talked less...but the thing is, every time we did, Shirl acted as though it was the high point of her day! Like I was the most important person in the world to her. She had that way about her. She was a bright spark in my life that kindled nothing but warm loving thoughts for sixteen years solid.

Some "friends" only call when they need something from me. Some consolation, encouragement, some computer help (lol), or just whatever, and then it's months and months until they ever call again. Until the next "urgent need" or call for help comes in. Some never think of you until they realize they've missed your birthday & quickly call to give you their belated wishes. I dunno...in my entire life, I think I can honestly say that I've only had one really true friend who only wanted to just be there for me. Who really wanted to know what I was all about. Who didn't judge me or use me or any other thing. And that one person is the one person I never met up close and personal.

She was a blessing in my life. I only hope I was a small blessing in some small way to hers. I always felt that I failed her so many times. But she never had, me.
This post is dedicated to Shirl. My forever friend who I miss knowing, is still here gracing the lives of so many. I miss her, knowing that my dearest friend, I will only get to see, when I cross over in death's hour for me. I look forward to a big hug from her when I do. I look forward to just being near the dearest person I could ever have met all those years ago, when cyber world was such an intimidating place to be.

God Speed my dear friend. And Thank you, God...for the friendship we've shared.
Someone reading this may just need to know that oftentimes a real true friend for life is but a key stroke away. May the friends you meet along the way be as genuine and loving as my Shirl. And may you always have that someone special to share life with.

Sincerely, linda

Dedicated to Shirley Braud

and...The Sister God Gave Me

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The 'Write' Way

The best thing about being a writer is the freedom of expression one feels flowing from the pen...and or...in many cases, the keyboard.

We are not limited or fettered by conventional thought.
Writers can be inspired by so many elements of life and not a one of them can be considered "wrong"... if we see cruelty, we are moved to react in the only ways we sometimes can...with words.
We share joys from seeing loveliness in life, sorrows from our pain.

The best advice I can give to anyone who is thinking of "becoming a writer"... is just, WRITE!

It is my belief that no one actually "becomes" a writer in life. You either are or are not one. But those who are can always improve and learn and perfect their writing ability.
Just don't get discouraged and lay the pen down, that's a start!

I will try to have a few writing tidbits in this space from time to time, or tutorials/challenges to help you out. We can all use a little help at times. Shoot! I may even learn from you if you care to share what's on your heart! We never quit learning in life...even when we're in our 'golden years'. We so often do our best the older we get! So stop by once in awhile and we'll share our writing experiences.

Have a wonderfully creative thoughtful day!

TIDBIT #1
Here is a good way to challenge your creative thought!

http://oneword.com/

One Word is a great place to go every day! When you get there, you'll be challenged to write something that comes to mind with the ONE WORD that they give you. And this must be accomplished in a very short period of time. Their timer will go off and you have to wrap it up. But...you'd be amazed at how much you can come up with. You can even save your writings there.You may even want to even use them as story prompts or poetry starts in your writing. It's a quick couple of minutes that keeps you on your toes and allows for some brief creative thought, sort of spur of the moment, with whatever else you're doing online. Give it a try, I think you'll be hooked! And...it will help if you happen to be stuck w/writer's block!

TIDBIT #2
The most important thing you can do as a writer is to 'write what you know.' There are many good writers out there who write excellent material because they have tirelessly studied and researched a subject and know it in and out! They are able to communicate that knowledge and translate it into workable material by associating it with all the passion and emotion that went into that research.

But the works that will leave a lasting impression, or even effect change in a life, are those that feel with every line, every stanza, the full on emotion, of the author. Breathing with his/her every breath, gasp, pause, hesitation. They are the things that the writer of the story or poem has so effectively translated into a word art, that it moves the reader to laughter/tears, and often leaves them in awe... And those are the things that come from the very core of every author. What they feel, have experienced first hand, have lived.

Want to be a good writer...? Use your imagination and write well. Want to be a Great Writer..." then write straight from the heart. Write life as you know it, as you've lived it...good, bad, or otherwise. Dredge it up from the epicenter of your being and splatter it about the blank pages that lay before you. It will be the masterpiece that captures the attention and the hearts of every one who will read it. If you do this, rest assured, you will be the writer they remember!

TIDBIT #3

Challenge! How can we grow as writers...as people, without it? If you don't challenge yourself in your writing, however can you break out of a rut? Or...overcome writer's block?

One of the best ways to combat writer's block is to go to a place where you will be challenged to think outside the box. If you generally write rhymed and metered poetry, find a place that offers you the opportunity to write freestyle and just do it!

If you generally write short stories that are non-fiction, try writing a few paragraphs of fiction with whatever comes to mind, repleat with fictional characters, surroundings, et al?

One can always find writing prompts and challenges online with a search. Or you can click on the Writers Block link below in the 'Places to go' list to find a few. Give it a try. Especially if your muse seems to have 'left the building' leaving you high and dry & w/out a clue as to how to be inspired.

Challenge yourself! You will love how you grow from doing so!

Until next time...Just Write!

TIDBIT #4

Having a hard time getting the words out today?
Creative flair flopped and failed? Well, here's a few hints to jump start that writing bug again.

1. Walk away from it awhile. Do something else!
2. Watch a favorite tv program
3. Take a walk
4. Pet the cat...dog...horse????
5. Go make something creative in the kitchen! Only read the recipe out loud like in your best 'Julia Child's' voice...pretend you're cooking in front of a camera! =)
6. Put on some music and dance. Do the hula (even if it's pretend and you really don't know how it should be done) do it anyway.
7. Make a word list
8. Make up words for your emotions
9. Make lists (doesn't matter what it's for, even a grocery list makes you think!)
10. Go shopping
11. Stick a notebook in your pocket (just in case)
12. Step away from the computer awhile
13. OR... just go do some mindless games or searches for anything that may be interesting ON the computer!
14. Don't beat yourself up over your lack of enthusiasm
15. Take more breaks
16. Fix yourself a nice cup of something and just step outside and breathe and take in the day
17. Surround yourself with creative people
18. Seek out some creative input from friends and get their feedback
19. Practice. Even if you have a ream of paper and are only able to salvage three pages! That's three pages of blood, sweat and tears that you will be able to claim as a victory at some point!
20. Take risks (life is short)
21. Allow for mistakes. Hey...nobody's perfect
22. Get out and go somewhere new that you've never been (be sure you have your little notebook with you)
23. Jot down little observations while on your walk, your outing
24. Break the rules. Writing is not always about following the established norm. Be yourself! EE Cummings didn't get where he was in life by observing the status quo!
25. Write for yourself
And last but not least in the endless supply of helpful tidbits...
DON'T GIVE UP!!

"Around the Block" - Dealing with writer's block

Today's writing tidbit concerns "writer's block" and working out ways around it. Every writer experiences this at some point and sometimes it seems like an endless road with no clear path to follow, no map, no gas station attendant to stop and ask directions from.

Here are some things to think about:

First, write about something you are well familiar with. Choose one routine action that you perform every day. Examine what you do, why you do it and how it makes you feel. Put down the words that come to mind concerning that one thing. Then think about changing that thing. How would it make you feel to stop doing it, or to change the timing of that one action? Sometimes the block will start to crumble with just the most simple and ordinary common little things of life done just slightly differently than you did them before.

Take something you have a deep passion for...say, eating chocolate! Describe the feelings you get when you indulge in that thick, rich, creamy, ultimately satisfying bit of bliss. Liken it to some of the other satisfying indulgences or even every day actions you observe and live.

Take a walk. Describe what you see as you go. Pay particular attention to things and don't just pass them by. Intentionally look for things that speak to you.
A twisted tree? A bird struggling against the wind, people out and about? Whatever you see, jot it down as soon as you get back. Or take your notebook with you. Record the things that stood out to you. If you only see one thing that impresses, put it down and leave it until you can sit down and really think about why it stood out.

Read the newspaper. Write about an article you see or rewrite it from your perspective. The news as you see it type of thing. Write about the feelings it sparked in you. Or write about a news bit seen on T.V. Is there something going on in your community that you have an opinion about? Just depart from the norm and write your opinion to someone about anything. Has someone made you feel upset? Write them (whether you ever send it or not does not matter). Just write anything. It doesn't matter whether it makes complete sense at the moment or whether it's a rant or a frivolous piece of fluff...or even if it ever gets finished or is worth a hoot at all. If it's merely a matter of fitting together four or five words into one complete thought and then throwing it out, it doesn't really matter.
Just because "the block" has moved in to stay, doesn't mean you have to make it easy for it to do so. You try to make "the block" move in millimeters by edging it out with whatever words you can possibly muster and being relentless in doing so, in not giving into it.

Pretend! It's the greatest thing! How many of us as children, used to pretend to be a cowboy? A fairy princess? A monster...a nurse, a soldier? As we grow, our capacity to imagine diminishes.
Go into the kitchen and make something you're familiar with. Pretend you're Julia Childs. Talk to an audience, laugh at yourself, be silly...loosen up! Cook something and explain it to the dog as you go. Get back into that wonderful fantasy zone where you have to "invent as you go". You'd be surprised how much fun you'll have, how relaxed you'll feel, and how something so silly and yet simple can help jog "the block" from it's firm grip on your thoughts. Just learn to "let go" and it will often topple from it's place of predominance.

If all else fails, leave your writing desk awhile. Leave all the lost "bunny trails" behind for awhile. The unfinished or going nowhere beginnings behind. Forget about them. Do something else. Something you truly enjoy and can relax with.
Eventually, you can make your way back. Eventually, there will be something that sparks a few words, then an entire phrase...that works into more. When it happens, go for it! Write it down as quickly as you can. If you get a few lines down and then seem to lose it again, then set it aside awhile. I can hardly tell you how many things I have started, left...and then "rediscovered" much much later, only to have at that very moment of rediscovery, been fully able to complete it into a full finished work. There are things that have sat for years to be rediscovered. Things that I thought were finished way back when, that rereading gave me a whole new perspective on. I was able to not only revise and create something acceptable, but often improve it greatly.

Don't get in a hurry. Don't rush through for the sake of finishing. Often, when you do this, it shows in the end. Be patient with the creative process...and with yourself. Good things take time, and good ideas take time to develope especially when they come in dibs and dabs. We all would be blessed to never experience writer's block, but even the best most beloved authors will tell you that is not reality. Oh, that we could have that life flow of words run into complete lines, sentences, paragraphs, and chapters...uninterrupted and unscathed, unstopped by the dam of writer's block.

Step back, take a deep breath, do something else for awhile. Something relaxing just for you. That oft' elusive muse of yours will return at the first sign of effort taken against that intrusive, seemingly immovable "block", so don't sweat the small stuff. I know, easier said than done sometimes, especially if you're trying to meet a deadline. You are a writer. It's what you are. And the words will come - occasionally they will come even when you least expect them. Just try to relax and let them run their natural course. Waiting can often be just frustrating, but then anything good is worth the wait. And sitting and ruminating and pining for answers and sorting every little bitty thought that comes will so often only be that much more frustrating.

And lastly, the final thing you need to remember is that it is not permanent.
Writer's block is but a temporary derailment that will soon give up and move on to the next guy in the writer's neighborhood. It is not lasting, thank goodness.
I hope this has been even the tiniest bit helpful to someone who may be experiencing splinters from the dreaded useless block sitting smack in the middle of your new writing development.

Sincerely,
linda mpc©

Mad Writer
by: linda marie pharaoh-carlson©copyright,
all rights reserved

How I long to fill the page
with clever words that will engage,
the thoughts and hearts of every man...
but today I just don't think I can.

Crumpled paper on the floor
demand I stop and write no more.
For writer's block is not my friend,
I can not write, so why pretend?

I'll bend and pick up all that's lost
and words squeezed out at such great cost,
and throw them all away and then...
pick up the pen to begin again!

Will this lunacy have no end?

Monday, June 4, 2012

My Dear Friend, Shirley

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