I have never really looked at it this way... but, it is a very good reminder that we serve a purpose in someone else's life. It's not always about us.
I would love to think that people I know just want to spend time with me and enjoy my sparkling personality...but, there are times when I feel like I am the only person they know when they need something I can give them. Be it a listening ear, a word of encouragement, a loan... lol!!

Trying to change my viewpoint about how I see myself in relationships, is probably the best thing I can do. Knowing that I am valuable to another at any point and time in their life, helps validate my purpose here.

I'm not so worried anymore about who calls when or for what. I'm just glad they call and I love every one of them. Toward the end of my friend Shirley's life, we didn't communicate so much. She was often not able to. But on her more lucid days, I knew that she needed to hear my voice. To be reassured and lifted up. I often felt that I failed her. And knowing that she thought the world of me, was always a mystery beyond my comprehension.

We have a purpose. It is not to "carry the world"... but it is to "care... in the world that we live in."  Whenever we have a chance to do it. I hope I have been the candle light for others along the way, to light the darkened hours of those who, for whatever reason, chose me over someone else, to call.

Whose world have you illumined lately? Do you feel like you may need a light out of a darkened hallway? I know you have people around you who have benefitted from your light...give them a call.
Perhaps it's time for them to shine.

Regardless, feel good about yourself and what you do. You make a difference!

Sorting today. And in doing so, coming upon more pictures of Shirley. Still grappling with the fact that she is gone. How can one just be gone? They were there and then they weren't.

I have faced this dilema all of my life. With my mom, my dog, relatives and friends, and I have to say that it never gets any easier. Never!

It is at times like this that I wonder what life is for? Really.
And I am a 'Christian'... no less. What grand lessons are we supposed to be learning whilst here on the green sphere that we tread? Whatever they may be, I don't think we learn them.

We continue to live like the world revolves around us individually. Like we are the most important things on the planet. Are we? And if we aren't, what is?

I dunno folks...after seeing one after another felled by death's merciless scythe in my lifetime, I still have nothing figured out. If death can't change the souls left behind, nothing can. If losing those that our feelings are so tied up with and wrapped up in to the point of breaking hearts and shattered lives, and unfulfilled dreams...is supposed to move us to be better, it isn't working.

Have lots of thoughts floating around the gray matter this week. Aftermath of loss.
And I suspect it won't be the last time.

My Dear Friend, Shirley

Ok... I admit it... I'm just plain lazy when it comes to blogging. I also fess up that I'm just not good at it like some. My efforts are puny, at best.
That said, I guess being in a blue funk this last week has prompted me to come and say something. I lost a very dear online friend I've had for 16 years who was laid to rest last wednesday. Her name was Shirley Braud. She was from Louisiana, married to a Cajun named Joe.

I'd met her online when neither of us knew anything about the www or much of anything about computers. We were both fearful of the big bad world of cyber space. We got over it. We grew in our sharing and friendship over the many years. I had never gotten the opportunity to meet her face to face, but I didn't need to.  I KNEW her deep down, and she did me.
We laughed together, cried together, consoled and cajoled each other, and spoke almost every day for years. I am missing her.

Over the last few years as her health declined, we talked less...but the thing is, every time we did, Shirl acted as though it was the high point of her day! Like I was the most important person in the world to her. She had that way about her. She was a bright spark in my life that kindled nothing but warm loving thoughts for sixteen years solid.

Some "friends" only call when they need something from me. Some consolation, encouragement, some computer help (lol), or just whatever, and then it's months and months until they ever call again. Until the next "urgent need" or call for help comes in. Some never think of you until they realize they've missed your birthday & quickly call to give you their belated wishes. I dunno...in my entire life, I think I can honestly say that I've only had one really true friend who only wanted to just be there for me. Who really wanted to know what I was all about. Who didn't judge me or use me or any other thing. And that one person is the one person I never met up close and personal.

She was a blessing in my life. I only hope I was a small blessing in some small way to hers. I always felt that I failed her so many times. But she never had, me.
This post is dedicated to Shirl. My forever friend who I miss knowing, is still here gracing the lives of so many. I miss her, knowing that my dearest friend, I will only get to see, when I cross over in death's hour for me. I look forward to a big hug from her when I do. I look forward to just being near the dearest person I could ever have met all those years ago, when cyber world was such an intimidating place to be.

God Speed my dear friend. And Thank you, God...for the friendship we've shared.
Someone reading this may just need to know that oftentimes a real true friend for life is but a key stroke away.   May the friends you meet along the way be as genuine and loving as my Shirl. And may you always have that someone special to share life with.

Sincerely, linda

Dedicated to Shirley Braud

and...The Sister God Gave Me