On Being an Independent Woman

I may not necessarily seem like an independent woman these days...but I still am. And I have been since I turned fifteen years of age.

I lost my mother after a long battle she’d experienced with cancer, just a month - almost to the day, after I turned 15. I remember little about my teen years or any of the prior years of mom’s illness really.  Just bits of memories here and there. My father pretty much abandoned me then too, for the life he wanted to live...which excluded me. So, I was thrown into independence early on, one might say.

Back then, a young girl without guidance and direction from anyone, made for some pretty shaky traveling along life’s pathways. But I learned as I journeyed the way.

I quit school after my sophomore year because no one was there to pay tuition and books, or get me situated for a new school year. I hadn’t had a counselor, a teacher, or even a family friend or relative that had paid any attention to what I might be going through as a young girl who’d just lost her mom (and dad). No one seemed to care. 

My oldest sister did eventually take me to live with her and her family of four kids. I wanted desperately to go back to school and fulfill a silent promise I’d made to mom (and to myself) that I would be the one girl in the family that graduated. I did go back to school and I did graduate when I was supposed to, but went back after graduation, the following year, for the entire first semester, just to make up for the one I’d lost after initially dropping out.
I was elated to think that I had actually accomplished that in life!

I also promised myself (and my mom in heaven) that I would be married for a life time, no matter what. I guess after 44 years of married life (almost) and raising two kids, I am well on my way to fulfilling that promise as well.

I have written my life long and had told myself that I wanted to see a book published at some point. Raising kids and being busy with all their activities, volunteer work and church kept me so busy, I hardly had time to think about it really. But I was and always have had to be strong and independent in my life, and determined. And it was with that self determination that I saw my life long dream come to fruition in January of 2010. I had made up my mind that my kids needed a legacy. A tangible “something” that they could actually put their hands on after I’m gone. Therefore, I began compiling and editing years worth of material to make what would end up being my first book called; Wanderings Of A Wayward Heart...Ponderings Of A Well Found Soul. A book of selected poetry and short stories and quotes that reflected sixty years of life as I knew it.

I have discovered that even when you seem to be alone, or you have no encouragement or help along life’s byways, being your own encourager, and becoming a strong and independent thinking woman will propel you over the obstacles that you may find in the way.

Making up your mind to develope a strong will and employing a strong resolve to not allow those obstacles to discourage or dissuade you, will lead you to being able to accomplish goals you have set for yourself. To realize dreams that you’ve had for a life time. And, reassure you that you are a person of value and worth.

Many may think a woman shouldn’t be independent.

And my own independence was virtually forced upon me in life, and one that I was neither prepared for, nor wanted. But I can look back over the years now and see that being the indepedent person that I am has made so many things possible for me. Has made me appreciate the small blessings more, made me strong enough to endure the chronic illness I’ve dealt with for 34 years, as well as many hardships that have come, and ultimately, it has given me wings.

Don’t let anyone ever clip your wings and tell you that you shouldn’t fly! Your personal independence will help you soar higher than you ever thought possible. It did me, and I know it will for you.